I’m Just Happy to be at the Table
A piece on friendship
Planning: Exterior Renovation. Trying to decide on keeping our deck (and cleaning it up) or doing a patio. Why do home renovations feel like they never end!?
Reading: The Wedding People by: Alison Espach. When I first started this book I was not into it but then as she developed the characters I felt invested in them, I had to complete it. I give this book a 3/5 on the recommendation scale, I am really enjoying fantasy and romance these days so maybe I am the problem.
Cooking: Saffron Spiced Shrimp Skillet from Dinner Tonight. This was such a good cross between a paella and risotto, we loved it! I was hesitant to add the green olives in but they ended up being my favorite part!
Listening: I have been obsessing over the song Wings by: Birdy. It plays on repeat on my Spotify.
I’m Just Happy to be at the Table
During the season finale of The White Lotus, Carrie Coon (Laurie) delivered a meaningful and profound perspective on female friendship that really stuck with me. If you followed the show, you know the dynamic between the three friends vacationing together. One minute you’re loving them, the next you’re cringing at them.
They start the season so excited to see each other, then gossiping about each other behind one another’s back, dancing the night away at the full moon party and before you know it they’re fighting and not speaking to each other. Throughout the series, you witness their vulnerability, insecurity, entitlement, backstabbing but in the end their compassion towards one another .
Aspects of their friendship felt so real and relatable to me as a woman. As we get older, it becomes harder to stay close with the people who helped shape us into who we are. Life pulls us in different directions, we move to different states, juggle work and family, and sometimes can barely carve out time for a coffee.
When we finally do get together, we hope the weekend or night will be magical and many times it is. But sometimes, someone says something off, tolerance runs thin, one person wants to stay up late while another’s ready to go to bed, old dynamics resurface… and suddenly you’re walking on eggshells thinking, Why did I do this to myself?
People change. What matters to them changes. Their emotional seasons shift. But if you’re lucky, your friendship grows with you.
When you find people you love, trust, laugh with, and respect, it’s a gift. It truly does feel good just to have a seat at the table. When you leave a girls’ night with your cup full and your stomach sore from laughing, that’s the best feeling.
If you have a friend, or a few, you can be 100% yourself with no masks, no filters, that’s rare. Being with them feels like home.
When we reflect on friendship, we might ask: Does this friendship lift me up? Do I look forward to our time together? Are we there for each other when it really counts? Can we sit around doing nothing, and somehow it feels like everything? Those are the friendships good, messy, imperfect, that we hold on to.
We forgive the snotty remarks, we extend grace when someone’s not at their best, because deep down we know, something else is going on. We stand by our friendships.
When the time comes for a friendship to naturally run its course, we’ll know. But until then, we hold on tight.
Here is the quote from White Lotus: “I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning, because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together. And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever and name shit, it still feels very fucking deep. I am glad you have a beautiful face and I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. I am just happy to be at the table.”
Cheers!
-Ashley